Let's face it. This Mother thing is not for the faint. I have always dreamed and planned on being a mom. When asked "what are your plans for the future." My answer was- "I will be married and I will stay at home!" In my mind I saw nearly perfect obedient children, with their hair always combed neatly, dressed in outfits with accessories. I saw myself helping with homework, while preparing gourmet meals. Everyone had smiles and manners. Pretty sure I was showered, and had on some real clothes too.
My reality is pretty much run by the stress of living up to that dream. Keeping things in order, trying to live up to what seems like an impossibility. I live in this world where saying put your shoes away means slip them on and take them off somewhere else. Hang up your coat, means put it on the nearest door knob. Brush your teeth means wet the toothbrush so when mom checks to make sure we did it, she thinks we did! Cleaning your room means putting the clothes under the bed. Asking if piano has been practiced is met with eye rolls. Good grief, what have I done wrong!?! They turned out just like me!
This is what my mom meant when she said. "You just wait- One day you will have children of your own." Did she plan this? How did she know?
I am so tired! Will I survive? Will they?
Yesterday I yelled at my kids. Then I sat in my room on the floor and cried. I said a little prayer, then I wiped my tears and went back to the hardest job in the world. Thankfully they took me back. They are teaching me so much about who I am, my expectations, and what I need to work on. The list is long my friends.
And while everything is not like my dreams, each smiling face, carefree laugh, and free spirit give me the fullest heart a mother could ever ask for.
Happy Mothers Day!
To my Mother, who I love, miss and appreciate even more than before. Thank-you for the love and support you have given me over the years.
